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Originally posted January 8 2005 at 19:01 under General. 0 Comments. Trackbacks Disabled.

Black Coffee

Confused and frustrated

I take me coffee unadulterated black, nothing added. I’ve done this ever since I was a first year undergraduate and saw the light due to being too disorganised/lazy to manage to have milk (I was in halls of residence and milk could be bought from the 24 hour manned reception. That’s how lazy). This simple black coffee approach seems to confuse the hell out of some establishments. I’ve been looked at as if I’m simply crazy for ordering “just a black coffee” before. No, not espresso, just normal coffee with nothing added. I don’t like milk in it (I don’t like milk much anyway and hate warm milk, always have—there was a quote I heard/read recently and now can’t recall where along the lines of The best thing Thatcher did was get rid of the school milk. It was always too warm). Anyway, one of the worst offenders must be Starbucks. I’ve only ever been in a real live Starbucks two or three times total—any establishment where I have to queue once to order only to join another separate queue to collect from someone with no idea what I’ve ordered is struggling for my custom. If the attempt to simplify ordering is that complicated we’re never going to get on. Only a US establishment could over complicate coffee to that extent. The last time I was in one was actually just before christmss, in Newcastle. Rachel, who was recieving drinks while I secured table, actually didn’t even recognise our order when it was called (for the whole shop to hear despite the obvious fact it’s for someone in the waiting queue) due to the weird and wonderful name it got. The caller (is barista the word?) sounded most peeved to have to say two medium black coffees. Next time I might try the longest starbucks order just for the hell of it.

So please, remember that some of us like the simple life. Basics. Serve me black coffee (and when I ask for coffee I haven’t said coffee and milk so don’t serve it white. Serve milk and/or cream alongside if you wish, I simply won’t use it, but it’s crazy I have to specify I want just what I ask for). Rant over.

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This Crazy Fool

Dr Ian Scott
Croydon (and Gateshead), United Kingdom
Bullding Services Engineer (EngDesign), PhD in Physics (University of York), football fanatic (Newcastle United), open source enthusiast (mainly Mozilla)

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